Something Has Changed

Pope Kim Mar 28, 2009

Being unable to be motivated to do anything this lazy Saturday, I ended up watching E! True Hollywood Story on TV. There were two episodes(?) back to back, one about someone I don't even know, and not worth remembering anyway, and the other one was about J.Lo.

In one of her interviews, she says suddenly she couldn't just keep up with everything she had been doing and it was like a huge wall standing in front of her. I think she was in her early 30s at that time. And I remember I read the almost same thing from iWoz. When Steve Woz checked himself in at a hotel room, trying to make the 2nd generation of his universal remote controller in his early 30s, he couldn't do anything. All the crazy engineering ideas he had had until that moment just disappeared like a puff. He said he stayed there for a while, trying to do the work, but he couldn't do it at all. According to him, that's when he found something has changed. Then he thought something like this: "you know what? there are a lot of young engineers who can innovate things, so why don't I let them do it." and gave up. And as far as I know, he did not really make anything new since then.

Did I say I'm very unmotivated to do anything at this moment? Yes, I feel like something has changed recently. I think it's been about a month when my mother had her 2nd cancer surgery. I still can't pinpoint what's wrong. I might have become bored… or I might be just too tired, thus needing some break… But I'm also in my early 30s, so my juice might just have run out… like that…